There's a Kakuzu Under my Bed
by MJ.Ride
Summary: What happens when the Akatsuki moves in to Mo's house? Nothing good, obviously. Fang and Iggy appear as well, and though Fang can't be found, could he be planning something disasterous with the other residents? Warning: contains random Tobi antics.


**A/N: Hey everyone! So, I've decided to do something sort of similar to Project PULL. Since, I'm no good with updating and deadlines, I can't promise I'll update on time, but I'm going to try my hardest. I'm going to try to update at least once a week (probably Saturday, Sunday, or Monday) with either a new chapter, a new oneshot, or a new story. I'm hoping to make each of them at least 1000-2000 words minimum. I just don't have the time to be committed to Project PULL itself since I'm always busy. **

**Fang: It's always school, class work, homework…**

**Iggy: Her job, sleeping, chores, scuba training, lack of funds, food, reading, working on the book—**

**Mo: Okay, I think they get it by now! Anyway, just check back every week and leave me a review if you have anything you want to know. Let me know what you think.**

**Fang: Also, we apologize for the poor quality of this story. It was a quick oneshot that she wrote during second block. Iggy, wanna disclaim?**

**Iggy: **_**Mo does not own Maximum Ride, me, or Fang. She owns only herself, Goldy, and Topa, and has partial ownership of Smoky. Oh, and the ramen stash. **_

I have an interesting house. It's practically overrun with fictional characters. Iggy and Fang of course are here against their will. But other than those two and my OCs, I have no permanent fictional inhabitants. Everyone just pops comes and goes as they please. Most recently has been the Akatsuki, from the realm of Naruto.

Take today for example. I woke up and got dressed like usual. Something black grabbed my foot from under my bed. Looking down, I saw the Kakuzu-monster hiding in the darkest corner. After I shooed him away, I remembered I needed a shower.

When I tried the handles, the hot water didn't work. Kisame had apparently used up all my hot water again, which is very hard to do. I was left with an icy-cold shower and had to shiver and suffer through it. I dried off and changed back into my clothes, adding a jacket to warm me up. On the bright side, which Kisame was quick to point out so that I wouldn't kill him, my hair was twice as silky-shiny as usual.

As I entered the living room, I came upon Deidara. He'd taken it upon himself to steal my iPod and my Nintendo DS and completely dismantle them, their pieces strewn on the carpet in front of him. Iggy, my lovable but oh-so-troublesome blind mutant pyro birdkid, was teaching him the way 'regular' people made bombs. I laughed at the irony. I decided not to kill them over my electronics, since nothing could be done for them now, but I did send them outside. This was a _living room _after all, and I didn't want my house blown to smithereens.

I noticed Zetsu outside as well, making flowers grow all over the lawn. There were also a few unfortunate holes, but those could be filled in later. As the new flowers appeared, his white-Zetsu half talked to them like a family. The black-Zetsu side insulted them. (I can't repeat what he said since even _I_ don't know what half of it meant.) Hey, if it makes him happy, I'm just glad he's not causing any damage.

I rolled my eyes and went to go feed Smokey (my cat) and Goldy (my imaginary goldfish), and put Topa (my pet rock) outside. Smokey had already been fed by none other than Hidan, who was now attempting to convert him to Jashinism. They must've been really desperate for followers.

I passed Itachi in the hall, talking urgently with my wall. It seemed to be a very one-sided conversation. Apparently, he thought the wall was Iggy. _Note to self: take Itachi to get glasses._

Next, I checked the OC room, where I housed all my original characters. It was the largest room in the house by far, with about 100 occupants at least. (Fang and Iggy, not being original, slept either in my room, office, or living room.) I felt really sorry for them, since I'd abandoned most of them along with their stories. Today though, they were unusually energetic. Pein was giving some motivational speech about peace and justice and the benefits and goals of Akatsuki.

"Ah, he's recruiting," I said to myself. I smiled down at my own black and red robes. At least the OCs would have something useful to do now. Useful being a relative term.

On my way to the kitchen, I dodged a sneak-attack from Sasori. He'd been begging to turn me into a human-puppet. I'd politely declined, since I sort of _required_ my body for things like daily life. When he realized I wouldn't budge, he'd resorted to trying to kill me instead.

_That leaves only Konan and Tobi,_ I thought to myself. _The sooner I check on them, the sooner I can head to work. _

I found Konan going through my files and organizing them in the office. I stopped in to apologize. She told me it was fine and that she enjoyed the work. I laughed. As I left, I gave her the keys to the filing cabinets in case she wanted to attack them, too.

"And then there was one," I muttered to myself. Tobi was always hardest to find, for one of three very basic reasons. One, he thinks we're playing hide-n-go-seek. Two, he didn't have a specific or reasonable pattern for we're he disappeared to, at least not one we could trace. Or three, he merely doesn't _want_ to be found.

I went through the house again, searching for any sign of him and scratching through a mental checklist. Sharkboy in the pool, check. Itachi talking to the wall, check. Zetsu, and the two pyros outside, check. Dodge Sasori, check. Konan filing papers, check. Pein handing out robes to my beloved OCs, check. Hidan chasing after my poor cat whom he failed to convert, check. Wait, where did Kakuzu go?

I found out a moment later when I went to throw my duffle bag (duffel bag?) in the car. I checked him from the list once I'd chased him from beneath my car, after he'd tried grabbing my ankle again. Only 2 people missing. I shrugged. I was already going to be late and besides, it was only Fang and Tobi, right?

I grabbed my keys and began backing out of the driveway. About halfway, I stopped and ran back inside. I scrawled a quick note for chores, instructions, and warnings while I was out. I left Goldy in charge and gave him control of the emergency money and spare car. I figured he'd cause the least damage, and I didn't have to worry about him attempting world domination as much I needed to with the others.

I got back in the car and began driving. Halfway to work, Tobi appeared in the backseat.

"Syrup and pancakes, Tobi!" I shouted. "What have I told you about scaring people while they're driving?"

Tobi looked at me sheepishly from the rear-view mirror. "Not to?"

"Exactly," I said, then groaned. "Since I'm already running late, you'll just have to come with me to work today."

Tobi said with mock-seriousness, "That was not at all my intention, Mo-sama."

"And stop calling me Mo-sama, you know it bugs me. Just Mo-kun or Mo, alright?"

I'd just have to look for Fang later, when I got off of work. After all, how much could one birdkid accomplish in a day?

"Um, Mo-_sensei_?" Tobi tried.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing."

I sighed. _This is going to be a _long _day._ "Tobi, hand me my phone, would you? I need to call the eye-doctor for Itachi."

—Meanwhile, back at the house—

"So Goldy,"the winged boy purred. "The way I see it, domination is our only option. Then we can keep the emergency money for ourselves. We'll join forces and rule the house. Only together can we finally overcome Mo."

Goldy thought about this, forgetting he was imaginary and his agreement didn't really matter anyway, and nodded to the birdkid.

"Wonderful," Fang smiled. "Then, commence Operation Take Over The House Before Mo Comes Home. Or OTOTHBMCH, for short." The acronym sounded like Oh-toth-bim-ich to Goldy. Fang grinned darkly, imagining himself as the supreme ruler of the house. Oh yeah, he was so ready.

**A/N: So what did you guys think? I was thinking about doing a follow-up oneshot of the chaos that comes from Tobi as a lifeguard and Fang's takeover.**

**Iggy: By the way, yes. Topa the rock, Smokey the cat, and Goldy the imaginary goldfish really exist. And she really does leave Goldy in charge.**

**Fang: You realize this wasn't the 2000 words you were hoping for, right? **

**Mo: Quiet, you! It's almost 1,500. I'll post more later, and then I'll reach my quota eventually.**

**Fang: No, you won't.**

**Mo: -sobs- I know but I'll keep trying anyway! **


End file.
